Prompted: Day 4--- Something you have to forgive someone for.

This one isn't going to be as easy as yesterday's was.

I am reading this question as asking "do you OWE somebody forgiveness for something."  Obviously- I don't *have* to forgive anybody, but there are times when you need to be able to say "alright, that person is obviously repentant, let's let this go now."  And you know what? You do that for you, most of the time.  It's a guilt thing, this drive to forgive other people, more often than not.  The weight of things to keep up with can get heavy as far as grudges go, and it's feels good to be free of those burdens.

--sidebar--

To call myself "sensitive" is an understatement.  I may bounce back quickly, but I really do wound easier than I should.  So, I often have little tiny things that I'm resentful of, but they usually pass within a day or two.  I get that I'm a soft girl, and it's not a challenge at all to make me cry.  But that's not what this is about.

--and, we're back--

I've only got 2 serious personal grudges that I hold.  The stories behind them are more personal than I'm comfortable getting into, so we'll just say that I've had brief moments in my life where I may have resembled the ugly parts of Tina Turner's life story, but without the musical talent, sequins, and fabulous calves.  And while I've gotten over the emotional damages caused by those moments for the most part, I can't say I've come close to issuing forgiveness.  To me, forgiveness has to be absolutely genuine to count.  It has to be genuine, and I feel like there's an obligation to let the other party know that they're being forgiven.

In these particular cases, I don't feel that forgiveness is deserved or even wanted, and I don't lose any time worrying about it.  I think that if I felt my unwillingess to wipe the slate clean on acts of personal abuse were holding me back from making progress in my life, I'd figure it out.  Quite the contrary- I think that remembering the lessons held in those incidents has contributed to my growth as a person.  I know now, irrefutably, where "the line" is in my own life.  I know what a "bad day within a healthy relationship" smells like, versus "a bad relationship."

So, nope.  I'm good here.  I don't feel the need to forgive anybody for anything... and it feels pretty darned good.


This post is part of the 30 Days of Truth Challenge .