In Memoriam.

That's not just a great picture- that was Conall's default setting.  Happy, smiling, with piercing blue eyes, a softspoken voice but an infectious laugh... and amazing calves, but mostly it was the smile.  I'm sure that like all of us he had some flaws of humanity but I never saw evidence of one.  I just saw a talented, loving guy who seemed to like nothing more than making other people feel good, anytime and anywhere.  I met Conall when I was 15 or 16, he kissed my hand, and since that day a little bit of my heart has surely belonged to him.  He was a man who you just had to love because he had a way of giving his happiness away like largesse, and every moment spent in his company that I recall was a happy one. 

I am regretting right now that over the past weeks through this illness, I didn't visit my old friend; I tend to not want to visit the ill, I don't want to take their energy or distract them from their families.  I am heartbroken for his fiancee, his children- two of the most amazing young men I've ever met- and the other friends in his SCA family who are missing those eyes and those awesome hugs. 

I want to find eloquent words and stories to commemorate the man whose mission was to bring back hand-kissing (he really was very amazing at that)... but I can't.  Right now I can just cry and be sad and hold his memory close.

I'm going to miss you, friend.