Last Friday, a 4+ year long chapter of my life came to a close when I was laid off without notice. Rather, I was laid off on my last day; I can't say that there wasn't notice in the forms of foreshadowing. When some corporate restructuring started taking place in November, I suspected that the end was near, and in December and January, I started job hunting (mostly quietly, though some coworkers were aware and supportive of what I was up to). I can't say that it wasn't a serious job hunt; I went on 7 interviews, but I had a policy of submitting at least 3 resumes/applications per week, and most weeks I exceeded that.
I had a lot of bad things to say about my job. The stress level was pretty unbelievable. Most days, I'd come home somewhat shellshocked and most mornings I absolutely loathed getting out of bed because I just didn't want to be there because of the circumstances that come with being the MoneyGirl in a place that hasn't got enough money to cover all of the bases. There was a lot of NOT FUN involved with trying to figure out how to meet payroll, pay the taxes, prioritize the bills, and then answer to the 80% of the bill holders who weren't getting satisfaction that week... and then start again on Monday with trying to figure out how to meet payroll.
I'm grieving like a mofo, though. Despite the NOT FUN, there was a lot of comfort, fondness, and even love in the relationships I'd built in that company that had very low turnover. On the day that I left, I wasn't the only one crying, and I'm still a bit teary at the abruptness of it being over. I feel like I've abandoned my team- even though I was already kind of planning on doing just that- and I'm bitter that my farewells weren't on my own terms. It's a lot to digest.
Despite the grief, life goes on. This week, I had interviews with 3 companies. One I know didn't pan out, but the other two I feel good about. There's another one or two lined up for next week, and in the meantime I have schoolwork and the upcoming derby season to distract me. I'd like to find a new something before it becomes necessary to file for unemployment, but... we'll see.
